WOW... what a week

Lets see where to begin.. okay...

Saturday night: Rascal Flatts Concert

Sunday night: Nerts

Monday night: RA Meeting that was amazing

Tuesday night: Box seats at the Angels Game

Wednesday night: Karaoke with the UP Boys

Thursday night: A night off:)
Friday night: Joes Crab Shack with Cody and Arcade games

Saturday: Magic Mtn with TWIRP DATES

That equal... SUNDAY = EXHAUSTED!

This last week has been absolutley amazing... but i am wipped out! Everything was so amazing and i am never going to forget so many of these memories.. but might i suggest maybe spreading all this fun out... just a wee bit!

Here are some pictures from all these:)

Arcades for Cody's B-day

Karaoke with the boys

Box Seat at the Angels Game

RASCAL FLATTS 07

WINGS....

So most of you know that i started really re-thinking what my life was going to be about this last summer.. knowing deep down that teaching just wasn't for me. So, i started praying like crazy. It was really intense, because teaching was comfortable and reliable. Basically, you graduate, get your credentialing, and start teaching. But in don't want that:)

So... for some reason i set up an appointment to see an Academic advisor this last week. Talk about amazing. I walked into the room basically ready for her to tell me that it was too late to back out of my major at this point and that i was going to need to just continue, but she told me the opposite. She told me that what i had taken would directly transfer into a new major and that i would graduate easier with the new major. WHAT?? Can i say GOD is GOOD! So, i am now a communications major ... i am making my ways to work in a corporation or business where i can lead and work with people directly. This just feels so right. I get to start my major classes this next semester and i am so jazzed. Public Relations, Organizational Leadership etc. Come on now... that is why i have loved the book my dad gave me on Starbucks, because it was all about making a great company and learning how to treat people the best.

I think that it is so strange how everything seems to just fit. I know that this major is going to be more difficult for me, because i was so used to being in my bubble, but not anymore. Come on now... how amazing? It was as if i was all of the sudden i was given wings and i began to soar. The cage was unleashed and my little baby wings began to flap. I know that i am going to have to start at the bottom... but i am more excited than ever before in my life. I am passionate and revved for what is to come. I am ready to find out what is out there and how i can start making a difference. Plus i am going to graduate on time without a problem...... GOD IS SO GOOD!

So... there is my story so far! I am so excited that if you talk to me about it... i might just talk your ear off for sometime:) - the new me

Rehab

So this week i started reading in Joshua. I was fascinated by the words i found so comforting.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Lord can i have the heart of those who walked across the Jordan River... "Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go." - Joshua 1:16

I want to have faith like that. I want to believe whole heartidly that my future is in the hands of God and not my own.

She sits and cries

Her lips were quivering and tears ran down her cheeks. The look of heartbreak was read by those walking by and yet she just cried. It was over and she didn't know how to handle it. No more little looks or tiny kisses. No more normal hello's and hopeful goodbyes. They were over or at least for a while. She just wanted to know that he cared, but didn't know how to talk to him.

Sometimes the days are hard... there are those moments when i wonder and ask God, "why am i alone?" why can i not have that guy... but then i hear the heartbreak and see the tears of my friends and see what God is saving me from. I know that one day i too will understand and i too will go through pain, but for the last 20 years he has saved me. He has left my heart for Him and Him alone, knowing what is and will always be best for me. Sometimes it is hard to not be able to relate or even have the words, but then again... i remember.. that is not why i am here! I am here for a shoulder, an ear, someone to lean on.

It is heartbreaking to try and comfort a friend when you have no idea what they are going through. For an instance i am frustrated and just want to give up... asking myself... is it really worth it? do i have the energy again? But then isn't that what we are here for? to come alongside our friends and comfort them in the sad days. Though i don't understand and hope i don't have to go through the trials just like them, i know one day it will be my turn too... my turn to ask for help and my turn to understand the pain, but right now God is protecting my heart and wants me to be His alone.

So... as i listen to the words of one of my favorite Barlowgirls songs... Porcelain Heart... i understand that only God has the power to heal our broken hearts. We are humans who have no words, no idea the extreme power of everything.

I just pray that in the future i have the opportunity to learn and grow to be more like Christ. A self-sacrificing, completely loving person.

Is this THAT feeling?

I think that this summer was a great big leap in the right direction for me and life. I think i finally had the guts to listen to my heart and say No. No i do not want to be a teacher, i do not want to live a practical life, where i wake up go to work and go to bed. So i think that by articulating this finally.... i was open the floodgates for my future.

so... my new vision for my life. To help those around me who just need love and support. For so long i have had this dream of working for an organization like "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," directing and leading people to do amazing things for other people. I don't know if that would be with Make A Wish Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, or something else... but i finally feel the strings of my heart being pulled. I am fired up and ready to start the exploration part. It is almost hard having 2 years ahead of me to finish school. Part of me is scared to death for what the future holds, but another part of me wants it now. Of course i do... just like every other person on this planet who wants things their way NOW. But i feel like i am finally excited about my future and where God will take me.


So now onto the heavy stuff.... my mom shocked the life out of me yesterday when we were having a conversation. She told me about one of her friend's daughter who went into the peace corp for 2 years. At first i was like... yeah and... but then my mom started telling me about how this girl's life was transformed and how God had taken her to some many places. She now has had the opportunity to experience and grow while volunteering herself to the needs of those around her. Mom started telling me that this girl hadn't dated in high school or college and had often been disappointed about not having someone, yet now years later she is married with her first child. I think the thing she realized was that God was saving her for something more than she could ever imagine.

So... as i hung up the phone i was startled by how much was on my mind. The idea of the peace corp scares the crap out of me. Two years of your life to living and working for nothing in a country you are unfamiliar with. INTENSE!!!! But as the day progressed... my heart was heavy. Could i do it? Could i sacrifice the plush lifestyle i live in, to serve honestly serve those around me. What about my family? What about my friends, would i have the strength to leave it all behind to live a life for others? Is this something God is really calling me to?

I barely slept last night because i was so intrigued in the life that God is preparing for me in the future. Yet the amazing part is that i am wanting to learn more and more about people like Mother Theresa and those who gave of themselves fully. I want to have skills and learn trades that could help me in the future.

This last week in Church my pastor was talking about how this Ethiopian was not allowed into the church yet would travel to Jerusalem when they worshipped just because he knew God was there. Though he was not allowed in, he loved God so much that he devoted himself no matter what it took. Come on honestly... what the heck? This is so scary and amazing at the same time.

So... as of this point.. i am praying like crazy. so if you would like to send up a prayer for me that would be amazing. Though it is two years away... i know how fast that time slips by and i am trying to devote everyday to being used. I want to serve and love like never before.

Maybe the reason why i have not had a real relationship with a guy yet is because God is preparing my heart for something extreme. He is saving my heart and going to do something intense before he decides to settle my feet down with a family.

Now the question is... can i settle my heart to see the doors God is opening right now for me to walk through and learn through for my future?

WOW!!!!! INTENSE!!! LIFE IS INTENSE!!!