The taste of victory....

6 finals... 4 hours... and i am done!!!!

Another semester has come and gone.. and out of it i have found...

- that i love history when Kenya is teaching it... she makes it come alive
- computers are not that complicated
- i really do not enjoy learning about rocks
- teaching in the classroom is WAY more complicated than i thought
- i am not as bad at spanish as i thought i am!!!!

Overall, i rocked this semester... - shy

This boy

So... being the leader that i am.. it is easy to take the lead... do the texting, do the inviting... do the guys job... but not anymore:)

The amazing thing was that i stopped... i stopped being the leader and left it to him. Then i prayed, was patient and now you know happened?

He is texting, he is inviting, and he is asking. So with a guarded heart.. i am out on a limb.. being myself... no makeup.. no mask... just purely me! He ask's, i answer... not a fake what he wants to hear answer... but truth. And take me or leave me.. this is shy...

I have prayed.. opened my heart and now i am going to have fun. No more over analyzing.. just getting to know a guy as a friend.. and if something is to come up later.. then i will know it is of God... and not my need for a boyfriend.

So.. if you have a second.. pray for my heart. Pray for my relationship with God.. that it would be the center... the fuel. That everything else would come after and that if it is God's will... i would get to know this boy more.

Guard my heart Lord...

Complicated Boys

For years i did not understand why everyone else had boyfriends and not me. I would cry, trying to change everything about myself so that they would like me. Yet, as the years passed God changed my heart and mind towards what kind of Guy he would supply me with.

What i need:
1. Someone who is more in love with God than he is with me
2. A spiritual leader who is going to push me to be everything God has planned for me.
3. A confident leader, who is stronger than me and can lead me.
4. A loving guy
5. Passionate and on fire for life... optimisitic is key:)
6. An incredible friend of mine

These are just a few.. and since i am interested in a guy it has been interesting all the different feed back. Shy... you are too over confident that why you haven't got a guy... or shy... you have too high of standards.. or shy... you just won't let it happen! But no... it has not been Gods timing and i am finally ok with that. I know that i am not going to get a perfect guy... but i also trust that God is going to handle the situation.

I have prayed, thought, talked, and wondered about relationships.. and now i just need to be patient.

A new haircut... a new girl:)

Have you ever cut your hair and with the new cut comes a new identity? Or a desire to become someone you have always wanted to be? I think that hair at times can be a link between being bold and not being bold.

The other day i cut my hair and colored it a great color. I am not going to lie.. i feel hot, confident, and fresh. The reason why this is so odd, is because i have got my haircut before and yet... i have been more terrified of what people where going to say, instead of taking the change and embracing it:)

Yet, i got a new haircut and walked onto campus with a whole new confidence. I am a women of God who loves people and am ready to have a blast! I am 20 years old and need to have a good time. So basically, i walked with my chin high, shoulders back, and embraced CBU. And you know what happened?

EVERYONE loved it... even if they didn't like the new cut, they could see something different. People who i have never talked to or thought would talk to me are starting to say hi... i love it.

So not to say that haircuts should change who you are... but dang.. sometimes God can use scissors and color to push me out of my comfort zone!!

Yeah.. basically - me

My new ME

Confident... Confidence... Beauty... Trust...

These first couple weeks of my sophomore year have been incredible. I realized that when i came back to CBU i wanted to be different. So.. for the last couple of weeks, i have embraced life in So Cal.. as a sophomore, as the women God designed me to be, as a passionate and set apart Women of integrity. I have made WAY more friends... had way more experiences and decided i LOVE life.

My girls moved in and i LOVE my hall. They are an assortment of differences, rich/poor, white/black, outgoing/quiet, dedicated/slackers... i LOVE it!

Tonight i got to know one of my girls on my hall in such a deep and personal way. Though i am sleepy and have had a LONG week, it is amazing how energized God makes me and the words He gives me at just the right time. For a girl who hardly knows me to open up and share so much deep stuff is amazing.

I like a guy and yet it is so different. I want to get to know him, instead of just thinking he is cute. I want to be myself, realizing that exactly who God has for me, will love the quarks about my personality.

I am so excited to just start each new day. Realizing that life is filled with opportunities and i am ready to dive in head first.. get ready i am here:)

Goodbye Summer

wow.. time flew by so quick and tomorrow i will be leaving Kirkland. The emotions flowing are somewhat scary... part of me is screaming yeah.. back to school.. on with my life. And yet another side of me is crying because i love it up here so much.

Last night i had to say goodbye to my friends at the Upper Room (the college group i got plugged in to) and it was one of the hardest things. I realized that most likely i will never see any of those people again, and they were such great friends to me.

Last weekend i had the opportunity to go to George, Washington for 3 days for this thing called Creation. It was like spirit west coast, but at this huge gorge and it was INCREDIBLE. I got to hang out with so many great people and see some incredible bands. My favorite was David Crowder.. who totally stole the show from Third Day.. and also Newsboys.. it was incredible being with 20,000 people as we all lit candles and worshiped God! talk about goosebumps.

I also faced one of my fears... the unknown.. i had been hearing about this waterfall irigation ditch that all the upper room people had gone to for years. So after being told that almost everyone has to be rescued.. i wasn't so sure! But after little debate with my head, i just flung my body in and was swept down the river!!!! IT WAS AMAZING... i realized that i am not the type of person who just wants to sit off to the side and watch everyone else do it, but i want to experience life as it comes my way!!!

So.. tomorrow is the day that i return to life as i knew it... back to school and new experiences! I am excited to see what this next year holds, because i think that i have learned a lot this summer about myself and others...

to ask more questions... to really be interested in other peoples lives.. and to trust God to move my every step.

Though this summer has flown by the memories that i take will last me a lifetime. This summer has made me realize that i want to explore this world and the many people in it! to think that before this summer i knew nobody in Washington and now i know at least 50!!!


so... tata for now.. i am soaking up the last raindrop as tomorrow will bring the 115 degree weather again.. (woo hoo.. i can work on my tan)

love you all for the phone chats and hopefully i will get to see you soon!!!

Shy

Life in Kirkland

Well.. I have lived here almost 3 weeks and wow.. how the time flys!

I guess when I was looking at this summer, I figured.. how hard could caring for a 5 month old be? Well... I have quickly figured that out! DEMANDING!!!!
Charlie is really fun but at times freaks out when he is not being held... and man does it take a lot of patience! I am learning each day how long to let him cry and whine before i pick him up.

Kirkland has been nice but rainy! I don't think i would make it the entire winter with it raining all the time!!!! I need my sun!

I found a church to go to which has been incredible. It is called Overlake Christian Church and i love it! I am starting to go to the college group and have met some great people. Last night i went to the Saturday night service called Illuminate and realized that in my future, I have this feeling that I will be in some other part of the world working either in an orphanage or as a teacher... who knows.... but my heart breaks everytime I see those eyes of children who have no family and just need someone to love on them!

God has big plans for my life and it is so amazing just being quiet and listening to His still small voice:)

I am super jazzed because i get to come home in the end of june and my parents are going to be here in a couple of weeks. And my best friend Katie is going to come and see me in July!


If you could pray for me that would be great:

For patience with Charlie, for friends up here that I can hang out with, for finding quiet time outside the home, for giving the family enough space and finding enough space myself!

I love you all :) - shy

Highlights of my first week in Kirkland

Everyone has to have adventures in life and I am on one right now!!!!

- Driving a longbed truck to Barnes and nobles, not realizing that it was smack dab in the middle of a major city... Oh yeah! Um... Can I just say that parking was fun... *cough cough

- If you want to change your kids mind on having kids young just have them nanny or babysit a 4 month old.. talk about demanding.. and a 24 hour job!!!!

- It is incredible to try new church's and see all the different ways to worship God!

- I love nannying for a blonde.. She keeps me on my toes and keeps me laughing.. I luv Laurie:)

- Washington has to be one of the most beautiful states I have ever been in!

- Don't ask people from Kirkland where the nearest Target is.. You just get this blank stare like... Who shops at target these days:) hehe.. Hey that is why we have mapquest right!

- You won't realize how much you miss your mom until you are not with her on Mother's Day!

- I didn't realize how much I could miss my best friend until she moved to North Carolina and I moved to Washington for the summer... PS. Did people have real lives before they had cell phones?

- I love organizing things and I really REALLY need to learn how to cook! The whole quesidilla, oatmeal thing is gettin kinda old!




I am having a blast up here.. Though I have to get up at about 6:15 every morning.. I am learning how to savor the quiet moments and get a lot done.. Cause when you have a 4 month on your hip you don't get a lot done!!!

I hope all is well with you all... And if you have time.. Give me a call.. Believe me.. I would love to talk!!!!

First Day in Washington

Well.. Most people tend to feel a little anxious when they are jumping off into the unknown. My unknown.. An entire summer being a nanny in Kirkland, Washington, for almost 5 month old Charlie:). As I stepped off the plane yesterday, I was filled with so much excitement, almost all of my worries disappeared.

Then I met the grandparents.. Now, that is can always be interesting because you are taking their baby from them.. So I was more worried about meeting the grandparents than being in a whole new state. But the second I walked throughout the door to their home, all my worries washed away. I love them already.. Between American idols, burgers, and some good old fashioned chat, I have adopted some Washington grandparents.

Tomorrow is the big move in day to my new home for the next couple of months. Due to minor complications.. ie. Ants, we got to stay at Laurie's parents house for the last 2 nights.

But let me just tell you all, Charlie is so adorable. He is just a kick in the pants, so giggly and fun! I will be posting more pictures of him and Washington in the future.. Just stay posted.

And.. Totally exciting, I am going to get to try out 2 new church's this Sunday and hang out with Laurie's parents again for a Mother's day Brunch:) So exciting...

Well.. Since little man (Charlie) woke me up at 5:30 this morning I am going to hit the sack!!! I hope everyone at home is doing great.. And don't forget to check in with me at askshy@aol.com

Love ya all.. There's me signing off from Kirkland!!!!
shy:)

And the Move is on....

To say that this year has flown by is an understatement.. but as Sara, Rachel, and I stood outside Lowes tonight.. it all hit me! I am one year down.. dang!

Tonight was our late night breakfast and we had a blast. Then we all jumped in Sara's car and took off to find boxes to move our dorm junk into. Wow.. i am so amazed at how incredibly fun this whole year has been. Though there have been rough patchs (ie. roomate:) ) and long study nights (8 hour american govt. study groups), when looking back it is the girls I have met, the movie nights and slirpy runs... and lets not forget .. frequent dance parties...that have made this year all that it is:)

College life is all that i thought it would be and I can't wait for the coming years... Being an RA, playing volleyball, more studying.. ahhh!!! I am so excited..

Here are pictures of me and my girls.. and the fun squeezing into the car crammed with boxes:) Oh the life of crazy college girls:)

CAMPUS DAYS

well.. i thought that I had experienced some great days here at CBU.. but not until I experienced campus days did i realize how truly amazing this place is.

People always ask why private schools are so called so much better than public schools and for this very reason.. i see why i am at a private school!

Campus days was a day devoted to playing super cool games, hanging out with your halls, and having a great time. We got to compete against other girls and guys from different parts of the campus... from inflatable obstical courses to watergun tag (kind of like laser tag, but with waterguns), from inflatable basketball to ultimate frisbee... we laughed our heads off.

My hall decided to dress up gangster and we created a chat that went along with the dont'ch was wish your girlfriend lived on 2b? It was soo much fun.

I think that a smaller school helps you connect with a variety of people from different backgrounds and we get to really get to know people. Today we got our yearbooks and it was cool just to look through the pictures and recognize a good percentage of the people on the pages. This is what College is all about!

I can't wait for the upcoming years and the memories that I am never going to forget!

Campus Days was incredible! This picture is of my hall girls... I luv ya 2B!!!

LAZY ALMOST SUMMER DAYS

2 - tests
1 - 5 page paper
1 - 20 page paper
1 - 15 min presentation
6 - Finals

Totally procrastinating and hanging out with my friends cause it is so gosh darn warm outside

Priceless

There are somethings the sun can't buy but for everything else... there is the thought of being almost summer...

Only 2 more weeks... and Washington here I come!

FINALLY SPRING BREAK!!!

Wow... i don't know who thought up of this late of a Spring Break... but I am so ready for it to be here!!!

Why does the clock seem to tick by so dang slow when I have a flight to catch?

I am so excited to see my grandma in Texas, where my mom and I will be staying for a couple of days!!! I am stoked to see my mom, because i haven't seen her in almost 2 months.. and a girl go only go so long without dying to see her mom:)

Then.. next wednesday I am goin home!!! YEP.. to my house:) I am so jazzed i don't even know what to do with myself.

My plans include but are not limited to - babyshower, kambria and jaylen, kevin x 2, Girls night, breakfast with fav. teacher, EASTER:), AUNTS:), Good old family time:)

Wow.. soooo exciting!! i am so jazzed, i don't even know what to do with myself.

Oh yeah, and I have to write 2 papers.. but hey why not procrastinate?

Well.. gotta make sure I am set to go and then I am off to see cody and then to catch my flight:)

Talk later:) - shy

Reaching for Desire

Reaching for Desire is my goal right now.....

Desire is something that is in my heart and makes me long after it
Desire is something that my heart craves
Desire is something that I will do anything to gain...
Desire is something that I am reaching for...

A Desire to follow only Gods heart!

In a mixed up world.. with every other priority more important than our relationship with God, it is easy to take my eye off the main goal of my entire life.

I want to DESIRE God above every other thing in this world.


I think that as a 19 year old girl.. i am pressured to think that everything else is more desirable than a relationship with God. Yet.. that is what I want!

I don't want to worry about tomorrow.. but soak up every second of today. I don't want to always think about that cute guy or that perfect tan I must achieve.... but of that relationship I desire to have with God.

I want to be passionate about devoting my life to God and His will for my life.

Reaching for Desire..

Something old and something new

These are my babies from home... i miss them so much:)

Party it up at BJ's with the girls....(um.. yeah.. since I am such a partier:))

My summer Job... Washington... with baby Charlie... :)

In That Moment

This last Saturday I got to go to a Christian Conference for leaders from various Christian campus'. It was an opportunity to meet some great new people, learn some much needed skills, and get to know some of the leaders that I will be working with this next year. It was a great day and I learned a lot, but something was a little heavier on my heart when I left the gym that afternoon.

A couple of my friends and I were talking about the thought of "Forever" and it made me really start to think.

Have you ever just stopped and really pondered life? The questions that so many times seem to hard to handle.. The ones that I (in particular) try to set aside.

We started talking about how hard it is to comprehend the thought of eternity and I began to question everything that I stand for. Why do I make such a big deal about things that are soon going to slip away. As I walked on.. I started imagining sitting at the Throne of God and wanted so much to please God.

I guess it was on that day, that I started to realize that I am not just living to live. I am living to learn who my creator is. To learn who He wants me to be.

Though I have been a Christian for many years, I think that everyday it is about finding the desire in my heart to grow closer to God. I want very much to spend FOREVER with God and though it makes me head spin to think about forever.. I feel like there is no one else that I would rather spend my life worshiping, than my Abba, Father, Daddy, and Savior!

I know kinda of random.. But just thoughts coming out on paper..

My very first blog!

So, my friend Julie (the only person who gets me through the many boring hours at work), told me about this cool thing called blogging... I feel kind of out of the loop, so here is me trying to get computer smart.. um not!

Life is going faster than it ever has in the past, and so I thought I would write down the many thoughts that pass through my CraZy mind.

College always seemed like such a far away time in life and yet as I look back over the last year, it amazes me that I have almost finished an entire year. It is interesting to me to think that at one point I was so intimidated about college, and yet somehow I survived the first year.

The first little while was pretty bumpy.. I missed home, all my friends, and having a room to myself. While I still miss many of those.. I have learned a lot about myself and how to be independent.

I can't believe I only have 5 weeks left.. Then I am done with my first year. My professors decided that the best thing to do is pile on every test, paper, and assignment on my for the next couple of weeks and my roommate is killing me.. But hey I have a light at the end of the tunnel right? I am so jazzed to see what these next couple of weeks hold in store for me!

woo... hoo.. My first real blog! Exciting!!!