The last little while.

It has been so long since I last posted...so while I have another 2 hours in the Atlanta Airport *before I head to Europe, I thought I might as well update you all:)

Well...I am a college graduate. Never thought the day would come and then it came and went before I even knew what to do with myself. The day itself was fantastic, with all my dearest friends and family surrounding me. Then 3 days later I experienced a sort of gut wrenching pain that I do not think I have felt ever in my life. I said goodbye. Goodbye to all that had defined me for the past 4 years, my family, my friends, and my identity. Cal Baptist while small at times was my home away from home. So many fond moments and memories.

The transition that has been taking place in my life has been interesting to say the least. As I drove back to Northern California for a few weeks of break, I realized that big things were about to take place. I graduated, was going to go to Europe, and move to an entirely new state all within about a months time.

Time at home has been a mix between emotionless, grief-filled, and great times. The tears freely came and went. I spent some incredible times with my parents. Talking and mourning a closed chapter of my life.

Last Wednesday, I jumped out of a plane. It sounds so crazy...but looking back the experience, i realize that it almost gives me the confidence to do anything. After my dad and I landed back on the ground, we started talking about the experience. I started explaining to him what a huge thing it was for me and how I felt the skydiving was a symbol of my growth over the past year. I jumped out of a plane. A perfectly good plane as a matter of fact. I was not scared, but just ready to breath in every last moment. It was fantastic.

Looking back, I realize that a lot of my life is going to be filled with the unknown. A lot of moments when I have the decision to stay safe...or jump out of the perfectly good plane. While the perfectly good plane would be predictable and reliable...it is not until I push myself to stretch that I can become fully alive.

Right now I am sitting waiting to fly to Europe for a 12 day vacation with my mom. I am extraordinarily excited to get away and just breath in all the moments. To learn the history, taste the food, and smell in all that sets the countries apart. I bought my brothers Cannon camera and will be capturing little moments in all the towns we visit.

Last night I had the chance to touch base with my roommate and realized what a huge thing we are about to embark upon. We are leaving everything that we have ever known to move to a foreign place. We are starting over and wiping our slates clean. While at times this almost takes my breath away...the very idea of leaving all that is comfortable to me, I am also very excited. I am going to do it. I am going to push myself out of the plane and see where I land.

So...that is the update. Life at this very moment is what I would call unstable. One day I am depressed and the next day I am bouncing off the walls with excitement. But the one thing I am learning is to feel it. To be okay with the emotions and feelings that I often times try to push away. I am going to be broken open and learn all that I can through this experience.

Because I want to live fully alive.