Once in a blog mood...always in a blog mood.

Look at my past few blog moments... once i start... i just can't seem to stop.

North Carolina.

Sometimes i wonder if i am just running away.

But from what?

Sometimes I wonder if i can actually do it.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen if i don't.

Sometimes I am so homesick for a place i have never been.

Sometimes I am scared i will hate it.

Sometimes I wish i was moving tomorrow.

Sometimes I wish it was never coming.

Sometimes I see the house, the neighbors, the kids in the front yard.

Sometimes I already miss my parents.

Sometimes I want seasons.

Sometimes I can't believe that i am almost at that point in life.

Sometimes I want to push it away.

Sometimes I want to put my roomie in a suitcase and keep her with me forever.

Sometimes I am scared out of my mind and yet so ready.

Sometimes I wish i had any idea as to what life will end up being like.

Sometimes I want to taste every second and others i wish to speed up.

Sometimes I search the internet for hours... for potential aptments, jobs, ideas.

Sometimes I can't think about it.

Sometimes I put on the strong and confident face.

And Sometimes I just want to cry.

Secrets

So tonight i was introduced to such an amazing thing... postsecrets. Um... wow that is basically what i have to say. I sat at Barnes and Nobles with Deanna for a few hours just reading the raw secrets that people had been hiding deep inside for so long. It was so facinating to me the wide array of secrets that people tend to keep hidden.

But what struck me so much was the masks that we all wear. The fact that we have ONE life and ONE opportunity make the most out of life and yet we let little things stop us. People are so ashamed of their mistakes that they hurt and hinder the rest of their lives. But how often does that happen to me as well? The mistakes and guilt that I carry around because i can't admit that i am scared out of my brains and have screwed up right along side them?

My questions is... if we all took a post-it and wrote down our secrets and read them aloud, would we finally see that we are all hurting and are wounded, that we all are just trying to be something in the world and that we truly need each other.

Some of the postcards almost tore my heart out, not because they were so out there...but because i have felt many of them before. But... noone knows, because noone can let those secrets out. Sad day.