It's peekin out:)

There is a gap in the clouds. There is a little ray of sunshine and it is hitting my heart.
There are still big fluffy clouds, but they are getting lighter and brighter.
The blue is beginning to show.

God is so amazing. His perfect timing is so reassuring. Sometimes life is filled with the unknown and uncertain, but in the end...He is still in control.

I thank God for these experiences, these journey's, these trials. They only make me stronger.
That one day i will look back and realize that though it did not make sense at the time, His plan was so much bigger than mine.

Thanks for all the prayers.

A hard day.

Today was a very hard day.

The tears came, my heart hurts.
I have lots of questions.
The person i wish i could talk to the most i feel like i can't call.

This isn't supposed to be how it is.
The rain is here today.

But i am praying for Sunshine tomorrow.

me.

Are we already here?

I was sitting around with a bunch of my friends last night and i just started thinking. We were reflecting on a bunch of different things that have happened over the last few years and it was amazing to me where we are right in this moment.

I watched as two of my friends prepared for tests that would make them the controllers of an entire classroom of little people. The amazing opportunity to touch the lives of children.

Another friend who is knee deep in her studies to become a life-saver. To assist doctor's in their fight to help keep life. Her complete discipline and determination to rock her classes and her joy that is intoxicating.

My other friend who is a dreamer. Who wishes to have at least a glimpse of what the future holds, but is trying to be in the moment as well. The fact that she is so beyond capable, sometimes i would imagine this being her main problem. She is so talented and gifted that it is almost too scary to have to figure out where to start.

And then my other friend. The artist. The free soul. She is so inspirational. Watching her navigate is truly an honor.

One of these girls was babysitting her little cousin and he was having a tough time going to sleep. It was incredible to me what i think i noticed. After a time, I offered to have my hand in trying to help soothe him. As I started reading him a book, I realized that God has given me a gift with children. I have no idea why it is so easy for me to comfort children, but it just comes naturally. As I laid with him and rubbed his eye's i thought about life. Could we be at this point?

The point where we move away, follow our dreams, and meet our futures head on? Is this the moment when we get married, have kids, and enter the next stage. Now, don't worry...i am not meaning that this is going to be anytime soon...but this is the next stage. The stage in which these kids will be my own and this picture will be mine.

It made me realize that i have a lot of dreams, but the idea of being a mother is also exciting. For some reason I have a heart for children! I think for the first time i realized that being a mother will be a dream come true! Other people's kids are great, but the bond i know i will one day share with my own children will be incredible. (But...it won't happen for at least another few years...my few being 5 or 7 haha). But when that moment comes, i think it will be just right.

Last night was bittersweet. These moments make me realize how fast life goes and that the future is right on top of us. We graduated high school thinking that college would last forever, but it hasn't. It is almost over. So as I press onto the future, I want to cling to the present. For I know that I can learn a lot from each of my friends, professors, and from this school. For before we know it...it will all just be a memory.

Happy.

Life is amazing.

It doesn't fit in a pretty little box.
It is the warm sun on my face.
It is the freedom as i leave work...ha.
It is that little smile i get on my walk to the cafe.
It is three boys squishing into CBU's latest statue.
It is having girl talk and being so excited for others upcoming additions.
It is the taste of cheeze-its.
It is music blasting in a blue BMW...pedal to the medal.
It is the voice of my parents on the phone.
It is the joy i feel in my heart when i see others succeed.
It is John Mayer late at night.
It is the excitement to see a long lost friend in the morning.
It is feeling so at home.
It is having no idea what i want and soaking up every single minute of the unpredictability.


I am really happy. My last semester starts in less than two days and I am ready. Ready to go out with a bang. Ready to enjoy the little things and say "no" to the un-needed. I am ready to laugh and cry, to prepare and just experience. WOO hoo... Last semester senior year...baby!!! I got this !!!