My new found love:

So I had homework from Ken this last week.
Take 100 photo's.
Bad IDEA!
In one week...i will have no camera and I think i might cry.

I am in love with photography. I am in love with the story that is hidden in their eyes. I had the opportunity to take a picture of each of my family members at the Ranch. What an amazing opportunity. I haven't had the chance to post the pictures yet, but what I found was a story in their face. I know...they are not typical photo's but they make me smile. The little things that so depict who they are and the story they live.

Then today, back in Cali we went bowling. I was watching this little girl with her dad and it was amazing. She was 2 1/2 and it was her first trip to the bowling alley. The joy that was found in a simple little pink bowling ball was powerful. She would roll the ball down the lane and run back to the ball returner...just waiting for her ball to magically appear. Her little smile and intoxicating happiness tainted my entire experience.

I finally had the guts to ask her dad if i could try taking some pictures of her and he was delighted to hear that I would e-mail him some of the pictures i captured.

I have no idea why these little things are making such an impact on my life, but for some reason the stories that people carry around are incredibly fascinating to me. I would love to travel around the world snapping pictures of people in their element. Today, It was just one little girl with her daddy out for a day at the lanes. Who knows what tomorrow will hold.

Something in their eye's

People captivate me. The story in their eye's is ever changing. The lines on their face almost capturing the story that is so hidden in their heart. I could spend hours scouring the Internet for new photographers who have been able to capture a little of this on their camera.

The story of a life filled with hard work and heartbreak. The story of a young women meeting the man she will marry for the first time. The look of a young boys face covered in coal after another long day in the mines. Little eye's captured by their new teachers words.

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/photo-contest/2007-winners

AMAZING....AMAZING.

I do not know why photography takes me to a different place. I can't capture the words of how it makes my heart feel. It makes me want to know their stories, to hear their hearts, and to share in their lives.

Standing in front of two pictures I am amazed by what unfolds in front of my eye's. The first picture is of a strong looking business man with his delicate wife. He is well dressed and confident. The picture to my left holds a man who has been weathered by life. His overalls are torn and his hands are raw from the hours of working the land. Both men are living a life. Both are living out their stories.

The amazing thing to me is that both these men are filled with life. They have struggled and overcome. They have created and destroyed. They have felt love and the pang of loss. They have faced battles and been blessed.

The thing is....we are all connected! We all have a story and we all need love. No matter what face we decide to put on, there is a story.

Maybe photography is just how God helps me understand people a little better. Helps me fill this often un-loving heart with love. To begin to see the little things in life. Because after all...it is the little things that create the big picture.

Christmas time...

Frank Sinatra is floating through the air, I am wrapped in an over sized duvet comforter and I am happy. My heart is almost beaming. I have been sitting on this couch contemplating life for a few hours now and I am concluding....life is amazing.

It is amazing to know how much growth has taken place in just one year. It is incredible to be able to really feel at the pit of your stomach the truth. It is fantastic to finally have a grip on who I am and what I represent.

I have a lot of dreams for this next year and a lot of things that I would love to discover. I have a feeling that a lot of changes will be made and that I may not always be sure of where i am going, but i am positive that everything will turn out okay.

I am blessed with the relationships around me and I am so lucky to have been given the chance to live the life I do. Today is magical. God is so good.

Something different this year!

I had been sitting on my couch for four hours by then. Almost like a hermit…surrounded by exploding notebooks, a very hot laptop, and way too many syllabuses. Outside my window the clouds were dark and one would think this would give a person the ambition to stay inside and get those papers done, right? WRONG! I needed out.

So, before I could remind myself of all the things that were on my finals to-do list, I grabbed my brand new blue pea coat and keys, and hit the road.

Most of my friends know that I am not really the shopping type. The idea of spending hours trying to find that one perfect Christmas gift is not my idea of fun. But the truth is, with only 14 days of Christmas shopping left and way too much studying to do, I must utilize the time I have. Therefore, I grabbed a chai tea latte, my Christmas list and charged the doors.

But something crazy happened! I walked in…found my gifts…and walked out. No rush, no anxiety, no moody people. It was amazing. The mall was terrific. People were all smiling and getting ready for the upcoming festivities. I could not figure out if it was me or if something had changed.

I think the sad truth is that it has taken me 22 years to finally appreciate the season. I mean I am a gift giver, so by nature I have always slightly freaked out when it comes to the perfect gift. But this year, I realized that most people won’t even remember what I gave them a year from now. But, the smell of the sticky buns floating up the stairs Christmas morning and the screams as we fight over another game of NERTS will stay in my memory for years to come. It won’t be the perfect gift card that I found or the amazing sale item that I snagged, but the incredible conversations I had with my entire family around the fireplace that will mark this season.

As I plopped back down on that cluttered couch that day, I had a little smile on my face. For I was only 2 papers, 2 group projects, and 1 test away from a great break with the family!

Happy Holidays, Shy

Oh the weather outside is freightful!

Oh yes, it is raining. I am so excited because finally it is cold and rainy outside. I don't know why...but in 80 degree weather it just doesn't feel much like Christmas. I am 2 group projects, 2 Christmas/graduation parties, 3 check-outs, and 4 hours of work from being done!!!!

Then only one more semester...dang! Where in the world did my college years go?

Chris Brown + Glow Sticks

Okay...so I tend to forget to write down the crazy things that happen in college.

Here is the set up:

2 overly tired college girls
1 Chris Brown Song
2 Glow Sticks
1 Ikea lamp
= Late night extra amazing dance party

I swear I almost lost it last night. So Deanna and I were overly tired...it being 1 in the morning and all, but we started playing this stupid name that artist song and before I knew it...we were having a dance party! We were both laughing so hard at ourselves!

It just started with a simple game...then we added disco lights (me flipping the switch up and down) and then Deanna added the final component with glow sticks. I don't think that I have had that much fun in a long time. Good times:)

p.s. yes we are total dorks and we love it!!!

I was here...

For the past couple of weeks i have been in a kind of funk. Not one of those all out depressed moods, but one of those periods of life filled with a ton of reflection. So I thought I would share.

This semester has been rough. This summer I really worked on trying to figure out who I am and what I love. I was on a roll...trying the things I thought I would never try and crossing things off my bucket list constantly. But then the thing I was scared about most happened. I came back to school and things kinda stayed the same. I got back into routine
...school...work...RA...friends...marathon training... trying to breath in the middle of all of it. But something started happening.

I started loosing days to my busy schedule. I became that go-to-girl again. While at the same time freaking out because I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. That is such crap!

Something really hit me the other day as I talked with Ken. I told him about some of my struggles and he told me that I was too focused on the big picture. I was allowing the thought of the future to stop me from embracing my present. It was the small things that would dictate the rest of my life and I was forgetting to relish those small moments. How are we supposed to know what God has put on our hearts if we are so worried about finding the big picture now.

I know that God put certain hidden things in my heart, that I will progressively see glimpses of a little at a time...but I was letting life stop that discovery.

I guess at the same time, I had to go through this period to realize what I don't like. To realize that I am letting the last year of college slip by. That I can use my weekends and time off to really search and find out what little things are tucked back in my heart. And begin to say "No" to certain things so that I have the chance to really love what i spend my time doing.

I was listening to this song called "I was here..." by Lady Antebellum and it was amazing. It is talking about all the different passions people have and how they have left their mark. I want to do something that matters and that at the end of it all (if that is tomorrow...or 60 years from now) that i spent my last breath being passionate. I want to not just float by, but create magic. I want to spend my days loving people and finding out their story. I want to reach my handout and help someone up when they are down. I want to be the encouragement to that person when they have no one else supporting them.

So, as I have one last week of school before break. I am going to use this opportunity to do something amazing this week. I am going to do something on my bucket list. Do i know what it is yet... not exactly...but it will come to me.

Be inspired today. Figure out one little thing that you love today and do it! For there is a reason that God placed it on your heart and if you chose to follow it...maybe just maybe you will find your future.