So that's how that feels...

Valentines Day 2009.

Yesterday was such a puzzling day. First thing in the morning i get a call from one of my best friends Jess...screaming that she was engaged. ENGAGED??? Could this be happening? Could we honestly be at this point? Where people start settling down and building a family? It hit me so hard...i was shaking from my excitment, yet when my heart calmed I realized something. I have been in denial for a long time that I am at this stage in my life. That I am honestly old enough to be getting ready to graduate and face the real world. To start looking for jobs and start a new life. Honestly...it took a crazy phone call to make me realize that as much as I want it to slow down...i can't. It is here.

So then there was this thing where I like a guy...but i couldn't really tell him fully how i felt about him. Thus... i went out with the ladies. Which would have been amazing, if i could get that dang boy off of my mind.

So as i hit the town with 4 amazing friends I for the first time had a conflicting heart. Where i was enjoying myself...but it was VALENTINES DAY. I had my first Valentine and i almost had to ignore the feelings of my heart. It kinda sucked, because I was not there. I was not in the chicken and waffles and I was not in the sunset. I was not in the discussion over chai and I was not in the car...i was miles away. I love those girls and I on any other night would have been fully in the moment...not this day. Not this day when everywhere I looked there were couples...holding hands...holding dang hands. HA.

It was such a puzzling day. It was a day that felt awkward. AWKWARD.

But the good thing is...i did get to see him. And after i saw him...i got to stay up really really late with my bf. We had a dance party in the dark with glow sticks and M.I.A. :) We laughed our heads off and then we layed on the couch upside down and dreamed of the future. It was incredible. It was the v-day I needed. They were the moments that made me want to curl up into a little ball and cry my eye-balls out. It made me want to hug D and never let her go. It made me realize that I have the best friend in the entire world and i am scared to death how everything is going to change in just a few short months. It made me want to be in the moment. To embrace every chance to just be a kid at heart.

Ps. He got me a book all about North Carolina for V-Day (cutest thing ever!) and it made me realize how excited i am about moving. Terrified but incredibly excited. That i have no idea what NC holds and I have no idea why I must go...but i am so SO so SO intrigued. WOOOOO HOOOO NC!

So there was my V-day. So incredible and complicated and memorable and hard. But so very good.