My weekend thus far

So my bf and I had a girl date last night as her departure is just around the horizon (a week from today). Talk about a great night. We went to saw Post Grad with Alexis Bladel. SO good. It is kind of strange when you feel so much like the main character it is kind of creepy. The movie so depicts where D and my lives are, it is scary. HA. I rarely want to buy movies...but that will be on my to-buy list for sure.

After the movie we went to get some dinner at this little cafe around the corner, too bad they were closing. So we grabbed some food and finished off the perfect meal with some Panera Chai. I just sat their smiling and thinking about how fantastic life is. Two friends just giggling over some great food and dreaming of the future. The rain was falling outside and I could smell fall in the air. I finally coined my favorite season as FALL. Changing leaves, warm fires, and holiday on the horizon. Oh so good.

This morning I checked something off my bucket list.
73. Drive down a random road and get lost on purpose

I just drove around Morrisville and Cary finding random roads. I found new neighborhoods, a farmers market, and these crazy boys super excited about waving little arrow signs. And I found my dream house. With a huge porch and everything! It had this cute little fence and porch swing.

So here is a picture, but i couldn't get ubberly close...they might have called the cops.


I love NC. I can't say that enough. It is absolutely beautiful. I almost feel like i am watching a movie of someone else's life when they find something "JUST RIGHT." I am so excited about getting out there and exploring every little piece of this state. Such joy!

And I found a favorite new artist. Erin McCarly. So so good.

Well I am off to Cracker Barrel. And as corny as this sounds, I am kinda excited to go to work. I love the people in there and the ladies have become like second families to me. I haven't been in there in 2 weeks. Strange.

Adding to the list:

Since I had about 12 hours of flying time last weekend, I updated my list... here goes:)

84. Play a round of golf
85. Bake a Homeade Pie
86. Break a habit
87. Drive a car worth more than 80,000 dollars
88. Walk on Fired
89. Leave a huge tip
90. Help build funds to build a school in Tanzania
91. Catch a fish
92. Buy a strangers grocery's
93. Pass on a skill i know
94. Build a tree house
95. Go to an Art Show
96. Build a Sand Castle
97. Do Karaoke at a legit Karaoke place
98. Ride a mechanical bull
99. By my own Boss
100. Continue a Family Tradition
101. Go to the Rodeo
102. Find random names in the phone book and write them an encouraging card
103. Drive a Motorcycle
104. Buy a home
105. Visit a old folks home
106. Go to the movies / buy popcorn, candy, and a drink
107. See a Nascar Race
108. Learn from a wise person
109. Have a photograph of mine published
110. Go to a horse race

So that is how it feels...

There was this anxious feeling at the pit of my stomach when I landed in Ontario, CA. It had been my home for the past 4 years and now I felt like a foreigner. I walked down the terminal and had the biggest smile on my face. Walking out into the cool California breeze, I strained my eyes to see the black suburban that would contain my best friend. And then there she was. Tall, Tan, and Radiant. Jessica was beaming and i couldn't contain my squeals as we ran into an instant embrace.

This past weekend was one of those rare times in life when you almost feel like you are having an out of body experience. Like you are moving, walking, and talking, but you honestly feel like you are floating above just watching. For 4 days I got to walk alongside Jess as she prepared herself, emotional, physically, and spiritually for the next phase of her life. It was incredible.

We chatted like little school girls at one moment and the next we talked about the serious role that she would be taking on. We laughed at our obsession of high powered fans and delighted in getting our nails done for the first time in years. The entire weekend I just had this overwhelming sense of awe.

Words almost can't capture the feeling that was in my heart. A sense that all was right in the world. That no matter what stress or problem came about...everything would be okay. Because this one boy and this one girl were rooted in something more than wedding favors and flowers...but in a relationship so focused on the Lord's will.

Jess was absolutely beautiful on her wedding day. AMAZING!!!!

After the wedding Shaun and Cody came to pick me up. Talk about the perfect ending to the perfect weekend. Quality time with my two favorite people in the world! We had a big sleepover in Shaun's new apartment (SO INCREDIBLE), ate at one of the best places I have ever eaten (The Hash House), and enjoyed just spending a few hours with my amazing brothers.

But as I prepared to fly back across the country, I was thrilled. I had the chance to see some great friends...spend some time with my brothers...and realize that NC finally felt like home. While I have no doubt I will visit Cali again...I missed my new life.

As I walked back into the humid and slightly sticky air after a 10 hour travel day, I was home. Life is beautiful:)

The boys during our morning in SD

Laughs at The Hash House

This profound effect

So today i got to talking with two new friends from work...we were talking about our blogs. Now some blogs are good...but oh my gosh, this one friend of mines is incredible. As many of you know, I dream a lot! I have a fat Bucket List and am constantly checking things off the list. I want to live fully alive and pursue the little moments that make life all that it is. Now...with that being said, usually when i begin explaining my crazy bucket list, people start looking at me like i am out of my mind. But today something fantastic happened...I said something about my bucket list and my new friend Emily started talking about her list of 101 things. It is her desire to complete her list of 101 things in the next few years. I began reading her list and with glee in my heart I realized how similar we are. The little things in life are the ones that are going to create the lasting moments that take out breath away. So... below you will find my ongoing bucket list! I will try to post pictures and cross things off the list as I compete them:) So So So very good.

1. Play Mud Football
2. Trace my roots back
3. Finish the story I have been writing for years
4. Go to Santorini, Greece
5. Take an Art Class
6. Volunteer for a cause I am passionate about

7. Move up in a company
- From Administrative Assistant to HR Assistant:) -
Starting January 2009 *I am cheating...but hey I do what I want!

8. Buy a stranger lunch
9. Go to Tazmania
10. Read through the entire Bible
11. Take my mom to see Josh Groban in concert
12. Learn how to play the guitar
13. Go to all 7 continents
14. Kiss in the Rain
15. Go to the Spa for the day
16. Help re-built a community overseas
17. Go to a fashion show
18. Take a helicopter ride
19. Sample every flavor at 31 flavors
20. Be in two places at once
21. See Oprah live
22. Learn to take fantastic photographs
23. Work for someone I can truly learn from
24. Run a half marathon
25. Hike a tall mountain
26. See 5 of the wackiest tourist stops in America
27. Re-Cover my new chair all by myself
28. Make enough money to be able to pay for my parents meal without stressing
29. Take a dance class
30. Live near my parents again
31. Do Absolutly nothing for an entire day
32. Go on a date
33. Have a house by a lake
34. Go legit skinny dipping
35. Fall in love
36. Take a trip on a train *an overnight train
37. Go to the airport and let a random stranger pick where I fly to
38. Explore a small town

39. Live on my own
- As of September 5th 2009...all by myself! Lonely at times, but incredibly bazaar and Fantastic at the same time!

40. Take an Acting Class
41. Grow a garden
42. Get a mentor
43. Figure out what I believe *or at least a little of what I believe
44. Go back and visit my childhood home
45. Have Taco Tuesdays at my house
46. Mentor someone younger than me
47. Learn how to drive a stick shift
48. Make my own wine by stomping on grapes…
49. Visit the North East in the Fall
50. Adopt a family at Christmas time
51. Spend an entire day in bed
52. Run a Red Light
53. Watch all the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings Movies
54. Zip-line through a rain forest
55. Actually do Jacobs Ladder at a ropes course
56. Cook an entire meal for my family
57. Help my Grandpa finish his book
58. See John Mayer in concert
59. Witness a miracle
60. Finish a triathlon
61. Learn how to play the game of risk
62. Go to a professional Football game
63. Crash a wedding
64. Learn how to change my own tire
65. Save up money and go on a shopping spree
66. Learn to really listen
67. Have an entire day devoted to random acts of kindness
68. Own my own Christmas Tree
69. Send postcards to people I admire
70. See a Broadway
71. Learn to kick-box
72. Have an old bridesmaids dress party

73. Drive down a random road and get lost on purpose
- Morrisville and Cary - found my dream home (8/29/2009)

74. Give 5 foods a chance that I think I hate
75. Go wine tasting
76. Go puddle jumping

77. Get a drink at a real bar
San Diego - At Whisky Girl for Jess' Bachelorette Party (8/21/2009)

78. Plan a major Event
79. Laugh until I cry
80. Run the bases at a major league field
81. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
82. Go on a trip with Village Care
83. Contact all my old teachers that impacted my life and tell them thank you



Obviously my list is ever growing, but for now...I shall start:)

August 5th

I am conflicted in a strong way tonight. This week has been great, i am exhausted from working all the time... but life is fabulous. Yesterday I had this run that took my breath away. The sun was just coming up, there was steam coming off the pond, and my smile was shining bright. So good.

I was offered the United Way job and after thinking it was "It" a few weeks ago, I kindly refused. So strange that sometimes our visions are so far from what God has in store for us. I am now interviewing for a full time position at Medfusion a web developing company. I love my job. I love my new work friends, I love love love it. I look forward to going to work everyday, because I have NO idea what i am going to do. Or how long my to-do list is going to be. I love it though:)

I have found an incredible church. The Summit rocks my socks. I am challenged and called out every week. So so good! I also joined a small group with Deanna and those girls have my heart. Our bible studies go for 3 hours and i can't get enough. We are planning all sorts of fun together soon... ie. camping trips, dancing lessons, running groups, taco Tuesdays:) Such joy to my heart.

And these girls...they are the real deal. We are all struggling, but digging deep and being vulnerable. I love it:)

But this evening my world was rocked. I found out that D is moving home *yes back to Cali. And the crazy part was that I was not shocked. I knew for a long time that her heart was not in love with NC like mine was and that she was not happy. But i guess i never realized how much she hated it. So in a little less than a month, she will be packing her car and driving back. I totally understand and am supporting her, but my heart just hurts.

I guess it hurts to lose her and lose what I had envisioned as being this amazing journey together. But at the same time I also realize how much i love where I am and wish that for her. I wish her the world basically. That her heart would land somewhere so good. That she can walk out on her patio and feel what I feel when I walk out on ours. That satisfying feeling of "JUST RIGHT."

So...tonight I am just trying to focus on the here and now. To not jump to any conclusions and breath through every moment. All the little factors will play out just right and I will remind myself that each and everyday. That God is in complete CONTROL. That while it is my tendency to panic, this will be different. I may struggle, but I will TRUST.

I am thankful for each and every moment of this journey and am so excited to see where tomorrow takes me:)

As Ginnie Owens sings:

So if all these trials bring me closer to you, I will walk through the valley if you want me to.

It may not be the way that I would have chosen, when you lead me through a world that is not my own...but you never said that it would be easy, you always said "you'll never go alone"

Life is so good.