Interesting

So, Cody ( my amazingly random brother who i love with all my heart) has been talking to me about God lately. For the longest time i was so worried that he was so far from God that he would never come back, but i think i was missing it the entire time. He is trying to find God in a way that many of us are afraid to try. He is digging really deep and cutting out the whole religion thing. A month or so ago, we had this entire evening together where we talked about where he was on a spiritual level. IT it fascinating! He started talking to me about how the problem with religion is that everyone is constantly trying to judge their ways against each others, instead of seeing that God wired us differently and to worship differently. Though this was something out of the ordinary for me to think about, i started thinking about this. What if our God is so big that he is seen in so many different forms. Though our entire lives we have been brought up to go to church, say certain things, and believe certain ways... we are really supposed to discover it ourselves. Cody is not against faith, he is opposed to how religion constantly puts people against each other, thus taking our eyes from the important part!

Another interesting thing that i have been wrestling with has been ... how the entire point of life is to love. Honestly.. we are just supposed to love. So what if we stopped teaching other people that our way of belief is right and just teach people to love. because at the root end of all things.. God calls us to Love. IF love opens the doors for people to see that the God we worship is filled with grace, mercy, and forgiveness... then we don't have to use words. WE can preach through our actions and not through strife. I chose to believe that i was not called here to go to the Nations and take my God, but to go to the Nations and point out the amazing love of God and all the places that He is already present, that often times people miss.

I guess my mind has been going in so many different directions lately, and i feel a lot of life i have been striving to be the perfect Christian, when i am on a journey like no other. I love going to a small school, where people love on each other... but at times it is hard to be there. It is hard to hear everyone talking about how we are a school filled with mission, yet we are not using our hands. Where in Riverside have we left our mark? Yeah, so we are nice and polite.. whoopdido! We are so much more than that! Where have we left love? Where have we gotten out of our bubble and stopped worrying so much about the CBU relationships? There are so many homeless, lonely, poor, lost people! We don't need to use big words and try to through the bible in their face! We need to extend a hand and give our time. Now, i am not blaming everyone else, but starting with myself. I have let 2 years go by without really doing anything myself.

I feel this summer has been a really rocky and wild ride for me, just on this personal journey.... so now, as this summer starts to come to a close... i am starting to gear up. I am stomping on the past 2 years.. as a good time of learning, but seeing things i wanna change as well.